I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
tell me about the eggs
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
