he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
