Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
