is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
