This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
