Four minutes until I can fart!
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Someone signed my nipple.
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