Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize