i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
my shit smells like andre
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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