I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
