Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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