NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
