I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
