Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
