YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
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