I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
