sarcasm needs its own font
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize