I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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