i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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