Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
