Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
