My nipple is on Facebook.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
