508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
