the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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