I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
