I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
