im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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