Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
