we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.