My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I think people are normalizing furries
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
