i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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