I'm really into asian looking animals
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
She told me I should be a condom model.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
