So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize