Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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