As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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