good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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