8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
