I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
You did what with his pubic hair?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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