STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
