she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
