everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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