Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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