I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
