shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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