i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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