I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize