I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
