I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
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