also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
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Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
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There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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