I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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