Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
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