dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I party with great urgency now.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
