the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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