My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
