I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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