you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
