I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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