Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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