I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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