Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
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