My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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