i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize