i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
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You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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