I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Randomize
