Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
