even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
