well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
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